I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How external is "for external use only"?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
