Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize