Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize