So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We are all done wearing pants today
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
