ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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