i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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