Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
