the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
