WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
