You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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