Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
