where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When are your genitals available?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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