you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
