i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
