we made out on top of his cat.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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