We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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