i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
