Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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