I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
