i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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