just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
