im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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