You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
porn star boner night. come get it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
