"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize