I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
