My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
