Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
