please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
