She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
