my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
