i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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