I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
