his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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