thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
