How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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