when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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