ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
