I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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