yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize