And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Randomize
