theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
