i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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