i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
