I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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