so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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