i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well I just put wine in my tea
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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