You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
