Is it because I queefed?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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