Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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