Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize