ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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