Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I understand Curling. That high.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
