A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
