I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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