Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
