Where did you get a picture of my penis
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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