Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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