I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
