i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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