If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
