I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
